The Questioning Heart

"Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'"

~ Mark 9:24

I've been reading through the book of Mark lately.  It is regarded as the earliest of the Gospels and seems to have provided much of the text that Matthew and Luke borrowed from as well.  All this aside, the stories are what really matter - and that's what I've been put in awe by lately.

Mark 9 tells the story of a boy possessed with a demon.  This, however, is not your ordinary, run of the mill devil.  It's an immensely powerful and profoundly evil entity that has gained complete control over the child's body and senses. It's during one of the child's fits of convulsions that Jesus walks onto the scene.

By far, the most profound bit of this story is not the healing that Jesus performs himself, but the story of the faith possessed by the boy's father.  We learn through the father's words to Jesus that he has taken care of his son for many long years.  In fact, the boy has been demon-possessed since birth.  Anyone who has dealt with a chronic illness in their own bodies or in within their close family knows just how taxing and downtrodding such a situation can be.  Often, it can drag you to the depths of despair and hold you there.  We see from the few words we're given from his mouth that the father's faith in God has been shaken by this constant struggle.

To me, the crescendo of this story occurs in verses 23 and 24.  In verse 23, Jesus tells the father that it's not a question of if his son can be healed; rather, it comes down to whether the father believes and has the faith to make it happen - as faith can "move mountains", as Christ says elsewhere.  The father's response to this struck a deep nerve to me.  Truly, it is one of the most life changing verse I've read in the scriptures to date.  The father says in verse 24: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!".  That's an amazingly deep idea.

What is the father saying?  When he states "I do believe", he is admitting to Christ that he has always believed in God - he has never once doubted His existence or power.  He doesn't stop with that, though.  He goes on to confess that He has doubts, which cause him to not believe in some aspects of His walk with God.  He has lost some faith in God's ability to follow through, because of the long turmoil he has suffered with his son.

For me, this idea parallels my struggles during the past year or so.  I have never ceased to believe that God exists.  I have, however, been fraught with questions concerning the doctrine of the church, the accuracy of some of scripture, and the beliefs many people in the church have about God.  I will admit that I still am questioning - which, to a certain extent is a good thing.  It also puts a stumbling block in my walk with Christ, though, which is never healthy.

Jesus' response to the father's statement provides a solution.  After hearing the father's words, He rises and heals the child.  It's that simple. Our lesson?  It's not wrong to have questions.  It's not a sin to wonder if everything you've heard all your life is the truth. In all our questioning, though, we must believe that Christ can help us overcome our unbelief.  It's this act of humble admission that we're weak and failing that touched Jesus' heart and resulted in the casting out of the child's demon.  Practicing this same act in our daily struggles of faith will result in the exorcism of our doubt.